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Living With Anticipatory Grief

There are different kinds of grief. This unique sense of loss, which comes with waves of change, will likely become more common as humans face an increase in degenerative and aging-related illnesses.

By Emilie Le Beau Lucchesi
Jan 18, 2022 8:30 PMJan 18, 2022 8:34 PM
Grief
(Credit: smolaw/Shutterstock)

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Tamara Hilliard learned in November 2017 that her husband, then 64, had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), a fatal disease of the nervous system.

“I’ve been grieving since we got the diagnosis,” says Hilliard of Fort Worth, Texas. “For a long time, I’ve been sad, knowing that he was going to suffer, that he was going to die.”

Her husband, Jim, was an orthopedic surgeon and a former college football player for the University of Texas. His once hulking body soon began to deteriorate.  He was able to walk through 2018, although he transitioned to a walker and eventually a motorized chair.  “From Christmas 2019 on, he was completely dependent on me,” she says.

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